


town hall crashers

by iskra (kiira)



Category: Carmilla (Web Series)
Genre: F/F, Gen, LaFerry - Freeform, Other, baND AU!!!!, band au
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-10-23
Updated: 2014-10-25
Packaged: 2018-02-22 06:01:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 3,369
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2497187
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kiira/pseuds/iskra
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>WANTED: a back-up singer/guitar player and a percussionist. Please email slafontaine@silas.edu or ask for LaFontaine in Hesselius Hall, room 301. Sirens need not apply</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. hate is a strong (but accurate) word

In the beginning, they all blamed you for the band. After all, you _were_ the one who put up the sign in the quad, desperately begging the student body for not only a back up singer, a back up guitar and percussion.

Fortunately, exactly two people responded.

Unfortunately, it was the two people on campus that you disliked the most. (Perry said that _hate_ was too strong a word, but fuck it, you _hate_ them.)

One lived down the hall, Carmilla, who always seemed to be in the middle of trying to flirt with someone, and nine times out of ten, succeeded. You really only hated her on principle; Laura, her roommate, was sweet and Carmilla treated her like shit. Plus, you was pretty sure Carmilla was somehow involved in the constant disappearance of blood from the bio labs. (You had whispered _vampire_ to Perry, who had looked at you with disappointment, then launched into a lecture about the discrimination faced by suffers of porphyria. Or something.)

The other was someone who you could actually hate. Danny fucking Lawrence, who saw herself as the answer to every single one of the campus’s problems. Lake monster? Danny had a solution! Widespread power outages? Don’t worry, Danny’s on it! The cafeteria ran out of sporks in the middle of lunch! Here comes Danny! She and her stupid Summer Society (which was _so obviously_ a front for a werewolf pack and _no one on campus says a thing about it_ ) would probably elect themselves as the campus police, student council, and Ambassadors to the Realm all at once if the Dean let them.

(Of course, the Dean never would, but that’s totally not the point.)

"I’ve decided. I’m just going to hold the auditions, then tell the vamp.." Perry glares, and starts to say "Porphyria!" so you switch words mid sentence. " _Carmilla_ and Danny that I’m very sorry but neither of them made the band. And then pay the Alchemy Department to create some band members out of the lake sludge. Or just give up on the music minor.” You flop dramatically on Perry’s bed, knocking at least three of her books to the floor.

"Or maybe you could…"

But Perry shakes her head and looks vaguely sick. “Remember the talent show? Fourth grade?”

You had forgotten about that until now, but suddenly images in glorious technicolor of Perry throwing up all over the stage right before her performance fill your mind. “Ugh. No thanks.”

Perry goes back to her book, mouthing words as she goes along. You tilt your head at an uncomfortable angle so you can read what she’s reading but, “Perr, can’t you read in English?” And then proceed to smush your face into the book. Perry just takes the book and puts it on top of your head and continues reading.

"Perrrrryyy," You don’t whine because you’re a _grown up_ now, but had you said it even five years earlier, your mom would have smacked your arm with a _Don’t whine, Susan._ But you’re an adult now, so it’s more of plea. “What am I supposed to do?”

"Get your face out of my leg and say that again. The rumors of my super-sonic hearing," (and you blush, cause you _may_ have played a vital role in the creation of those rumors), “are, in fact, just rumors.”

You turn onto your back and ask her again. Perry had propped herself up on her elbows, her face just inches from yours, so you could see her _LaFontaine has no idea how to interact with people_ face way up close. (It also meant she could lean down and kiss you before she answered, so you know. Not complaining too much.)

"Susan LaFontaine, you’re nearly 20." She waits for you to nod, and then continues, using her _LaFontaine could you have not thought through this less_ voice.

(You hadn’t heard that voice since you were 14 and decided to see if you could cause an explosion big enough to knock over a tree in the woods behind your house.)

(You could.)

"Have you considered, even once, to get along with these people until the December concert? And then you can break up the band due to ‘difference of interest’ or something? The minor requires performances at just one school concert. You just have to deal with these people for like 2 months. And you never know. You may end up actually liking them."

After making sure to tell Perry that she sounds like a kindergarten teacher, and maybe she should switch her major from German to Education, you take her book and put it over your face, so you can’t see her face when you admit that she's right.

"I told you so." And you groan, because you can hear her face in her voice, the little smile and maybe an eye roll, because this is probably close to the two thousandth time that she’s told you exactly that.

So instead of giving her the satisfaction of an on-topic response, you pull the book off your face and start reading out loud. 

"Dar are dye ture oof disee weiss…" You only get out a few words before Perry starts laughing and takes her book back.

"I hope you know that you’re butchering a piece of classic German literature. Your new band mate, Carmilla, would probably kill you. Did I tell you how she stopped the teacher in our 20th German Philosophy class to correct his pronunciation? Three times?"

You groan. “Perr! I thought you said I would _like_ these people, not want to kill them within half an hour!”

"I said you _might_ like them. Carmilla has some… interesting opinions on… well. Nearly everything. And Danny’s nice, you know that. I never understood why you disliked her so much.”

"Perr, I hate Danny Lawrence. She’s a self-righteous asshole with a hero complex and…"

"Susan! Hate is a st…"

You sit up and kiss Perry, because if you have to hear the words “Hate is a strong word” again you might snap. Or sign Perry up for a couple classes in early-elementary education without her knowledge.

Humming happily, Perry pulls away and opens her book back up. “Now, stop distracting me. I was supposed to finish this book by yesterday.” She blindly grabs one of your bio textbooks and shoves it at you. “Read this. Be useful.”

Resting your head on Perry’s lap, you open the book (which is on microbiology in sentient non-human beings, a class you took last semester) and pretend to read.

Maybe, _just maybe,_ this band thing wouldn’t turn out that badly.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> completely inspired by sir-kir's art on tumblr
> 
> also i know nothing about bands  
> or music minors
> 
> bear with me here


	2. maybe they'll kill each other first

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> But, it dawns on you, if they decide not to be in the band of their own free will, then Perry can't be disappointed, and you can be a one-man-band at the concert.

You're woken up the next morning by the dulcet tones of Perry hissing in your ear. "Wake up! Susan LaFontaine, there is an emergency, _wake up_!" And at the mention of an emergency, you're up and dressed before you think to question Perry on the exact nature of this emergency.

She has the grace to look sheepish as she mumbles out, "Laura? Down the hall? Is having a problem with her roommate."

You raise one eyebrow at her. "Perr? I'm going back to bed. Please wake me again in case of, oh you know, _an actual emergency._ Like fire. Or those giant mushroom things. Or a gas leak. Not 'Laura down the hall has a problem with her roommate.'"

But Perry gives you what can only be described as puppy dog eyes and fuck it, you're already dressed, so you trail down the hall after her, grumbling about how you're not actually the floor don, and Perry, isn't this technically _only_ your job?

Perry tells you to be quiet, people are sleeping, and maybe you'll learn something about interpersonal connections.

All it does is solidify your belief that inviting these people to be part of your band is quite possibly the worst idea you've (or rather, Perry's) had.

"Perr. She had _blood_ in a _soy milk_ container and you still think she's a) human and b) a reasonable candidate for my band. What if we're at rehearsal and she decides to, I don't know, _eat me._ "

"She's not going to eat you. It's probably just... probably just a harmless prank," (and you realize that Perry could be looking into the eyes of a vampire, about to bite her, and start giving a scientific explanation), "and Laura will be laughing about it tomorrow. Anyways, you already sent her an email telling her about her audition time and place. You can't back out now." 

You groan, because of course Perry's right (Perry's  _always_ right). But, it dawns on you, if they decide not to be in the band of their _own free will_ , then Perry can't be disappointed, and you can be a one-man-band at the concert.

(Which, given, sounds like a terrible idea but somehow _still_ better than hanging out with Fangs and Wolfie for the next two months. Actually, probably _anything_ would be better than hanging out with them.)

Somehow, Perry got you the floor's common room to use for auditions, and you pay three freshman to leave the room looking very scared just as Danny and Carmilla show up.

Or at least when Danny shows up. Carmilla doesn't seem to understand the meaning of the phrase 'be on time'.

Danny stomps in, glaring. "I didn't realize _you_ were LaFontaine when I agreed to do this. If I had known..." She shakes her head and you grin sweetly. Maybe she'll leave without even taking out her guitar. But of course, no such luck because she continues, "You're damn lucky I need to participate in some 'school run concert' in order to apologize to the music department about the whole ruining of the end of semester concert last year."

Damn it.

She (rather violently) pulls out her guitar and begins tuning it, glaring at the wall the entire time. She's just about to begin when Carmilla comes skulking in, dressed in what you're 95% sure is Laura's shirt, a look of complete apathy on her face.

Danny stares at her and turns to you. "You didn't tell me little Miss I Hate Everything was in your band."

Carmilla smiles (and her _teeth_ are _pointy_ and Perry _still_ doesn't believe in vampires) and mockingly answers, "You didn't tell me the Jolly Ginger Giant was in your band."

You force a smile onto your face, and channeling every Perry-like emotion you can muster up, you clap your hands. "Okay! Danny, you're first! And then Carmilla!"

Carmilla arches an eyebrow and mutters, "I didn't know sleeping with someone lets their personality rub off," and you blush. Danny laughs, which causes Carmilla to glare at her, and Danny quickly changes her laugh to a choking cough, and you already want to kill them both.

As soon as Danny starts playing, you focus your anger onto her, because _damn it,_ she's good and you know that you're going to have to hang out with her for at least the next two months, because letting her go would be one of the stupidest ideas you've ever had (and you're the one who 'accidentally' set fire to the school gym in 9th grade).

She finishes, and you force your face into something (you hope) vaguely resembles indifference, and Carmilla slowly claps.

"Great job, pup," she purrs, and for a split second you swear you can see a wolf where Danny stands. But Danny shakes her head, and snaps back into herself before growling at Carmilla, "I've fucking told you not to call me that."

(Maybe, you hope, just maybe, they'll kill each other before you're driven to murder.)

But Carmilla just laughs and takes her place in front of you, and starts to sing.

And if Danny was good, Carmilla is fucking _amazing,_ the kind of good that you would expect from a drama student or someone who's spent their entire life training. Not at all what a broody (possibly dead) philosophy student should sound like.

She finishes and curtsies, smirking at the awed expression on not only your face, but Danny's as well.

"I've had _a lot_ of time to practice," she says, (and if you weren't already convinced she was a vampire, you would be now).

"I also play the drums, but you obviously didn't see it necessary to provide a set when you were trying to find a percussionist."

You look to Danny for confirmation, and she nods, grudgingly. "I've heard her play. She's not bad."

"I'm amazing, pup," and Danny blushes again, and you suddenly realize that there's _something_ between them.

You shake your head, slightly disgusted, and start to pick up your official-looking clipboard (that you _totally_ weren't doodling on). "I guess I'll email you guys if you make it," and leave the common room as quickly as possible, leaving Danny and Carmilla to do... whatever. 

(Kill each other maybe. Or kiss. You're not actually sure, but you're 100% sure you don't want to be there when it happens.)

When you open the door, Perry's sitting on her desk eyes squeezed shut and reciting something that sounds like German poetry.

(If it was anyone else, you would say it was a spell, but this is _Perry_.)

The door slams behind you, and Perry starts, almost falling off her desk. "LaFontaine! I thought you would be longer. How did it go? Was it okay?"

And you start to laugh, because how the _hell_ would you describe the last thirty minutes of your life. Perry looks a little worried, so you smile at her and jump up to join her on the desk. "It was fine, Perr. They're both really good and I think they hate each other more that they hate me, so that's good, I guess."

She kisses your cheek and, "I'm glad it went well."

You laugh again, because 'well' is _not_ the word you would use to describe it, and you tell her so. "I'm also pretty sure that you _might_ have two bodies to clean up in the common room later."

Perry looks appropriately horrified, but then smiles slightly. "It wouldn't be the first time."

It's your turn to look startled, and you shake Perry's shoulder. "You're kidding? Perr? You're kidding, right?"

She smiles and starts reciting her poetry again. You let your head fall back and hit the wall with a dull thunk.

Sometimes, you really hate this school.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i totally took the last line from the last line of ep24 i'm sorry
> 
> also for dana (thedoctorlek on tumblr) cause she's basically the reason i wrote this


	3. a silent (slightly grudging) agreement

 

The first week of practice goes surprisingly well. Which means no one blew up the music building, an event you were expecting to happen within a couple days.

Danny shows up to the first practice with bruises on her neck (which are, if you squinted and tilted your head, in the shape of a hand) and when you open your mouth to ask her about them, she snaps, "LaFontaine, if you don't shut it, I swear to god you will learn just how difficult it is to study bio-magical sciences without access to half your specimens."

You shut it.

Carmilla, of course, practically _oozes_ sex, when she sings all breathy and soft (or even when she doesn't) and makes _endless_ jokes about your and Perry's sex life.

You're not sure how to tell her while you and Perry live together and kiss and sleep together, you don't _sleep_ together, so you stay silent, trying to figure out how exactly to mute Carmilla without taking her ability to sing along with it.

(She takes your silence as affirmation of her teasing; you find a spell that will harness her voice to your will.)

The first week of practice goes surprisingly well, which is why the screaming match that you accidentally interrupt on Monday afternoon comes as such a, well, _surprise._

It was always clear that none of you liked each other, but you and Danny both had to do this band thing (neither of you was sure exactly why Carmilla was there; Laura suggested it was because she was lonely and you laughed) and you _thought_ there was a silent, slightly grudging, agreement between the three of you to deal with this whole working together thing as civil a manner as possible.

Evidently not.

You're not even sure what the argument is about, only that Danny looks about ready to tear into Carmilla with her nails, and Carmilla appears to be trying to set Danny on fire with her eyes.

(Which, you realize later, she can probably do.)

Carmilla spins on you, and says in a carefully calm voice, "Tell _Danielle_ that there is no way in _Hell_ that I'm singing a Florence and the Machine song."

They're arguing about song choice.

They're arguing about song choice as if it's a life or death decision, and you start to laugh because there is a _vampire_ arguing with a fucking _werewolf_ over Florence and the Machine.

Which is completely the wrong reaction, because both decide that your laugh was more offensive than the other's argument, and start to scream at you, because this was _your band_ and _don't you care_ _about our image_ and that's when Laura runs in, out of breath and bleeding (rather heavily) from the cut above her eye.

The three of you stop arguing immediately, and Danny manages to step on your toes and elbow Carmilla in the ribs in her valiant effort to reach her first.

"The gargoyles," Laura gasps, fluttering her hands around as if to indicate flight, "the gargoyles started attacking all the English majors, and your second-in-command," and she glances at Danny, "Ines, I think, yeah, Ines said that the physics department enchanted them as a joke except someone lost the counter spell and now the gargoyles don't care what you're studying, I think they just want to kill everyone."

Danny looks like someone has personally offended her, and Carmilla just groans.

"Okay," Danny barks and she suddenly sounds less like a 23 year-old English TA and more like a freaking army general. "Okay, LaFontaine and Laura, stay here. Build a fire, fire scares gargoyles, and gather as many freshman as you can. Keep them safe. Carmilla," and the crisp, military voice falters, becoming something more of a sneer, "Carmilla, you fucking come with me. I'd like to have some fighters who can't be killed by the gargoyles."

Carmilla flips her off, and mutters, "I can still be killed," but moves slightly closer to Danny anyways, and the two of them leave the music hall, Danny holding a sword that she _definitely_ didn't have before (you suspect the guitar case) and Carmilla still complaining about Florence and the Machine.

The practice room is suddenly silent, Laura still bleeding and you holding your bass rather awkwardly.

"So. Um, you want to do something about that?" And you point to her cut, cause if you've learned one thing from hanging out with Perry for 15 years (and spending your fair share of time in the ER), it's basic first aid.

But Laura has some sort of battle adrenaline in her eyes and she smiles at you, and you know that whatever the two of you are about to do, Perry will hate.

Danny too, probably.

"I dunno about you," Laura says, "but there's _no way_ I'm staying here. I bet we can get Nora in the next practice room over to build whatever fire Danny wanted, and we can go find some gargoyles and kick their gargoyle asses."

It will be safer, you reason, to go out together than let Laura go out alone, so you nod and Laura claps her hands excitedly as if you had just agreed to make cupcakes, not go kill supernatural beings.

And then she grabs Danny's guitar, handing you the music stand from the corner, "These should work as weapons, right?"

And you nod again, because you're pretty sure that Danny values Laura over her guitar, and Laura smiles.

"Oh, by the way," she chirps, "if I die, tell Carmilla she can have my half of the room and tell Danny that I know she took my sweatshirt and that she can keep it. Any last words for you?"

You shake your head; Laura shrugs, and leaves the room, dragging Danny's guitar behind her.

Perry is going to _kill_ you.

(You'd almost rather die by gargoyle.)


End file.
